Hey there! So, you’re on a mission to raise a tiny human who doesn’t grow up to be a emotionally constipated adult? Good for you. Teaching kids about feelings is one of those parenting tasks that sounds simple in theory—”Just use your words, honey!”—but in practice, it often involves a lot of screaming about a blue cup that you accidentally handed them first. I’ve been there. More times than I care to count.
The truth is, kids aren’t born knowing what to do with the chaos inside their little heads. They feel the big feelings—the rage, the joy, the soul-crushing disappointment over a broken cracker—but they have zero idea what to call them or how to handle them. That’s where we come in. We have to be their emotional tour guides.
I’ve rounded up ten of my favorite activities to help build that emotional awareness. These aren’t stuffy classroom lessons. These are real-world, slightly messy, totally doable games and conversations that actually work. Let’s get into it.
1. Create an “Emotion Catcher” (aka Fidget Cootie Catcher)
Remember those fortune tellers we used to make in middle school? The ones that told you who you were going to marry? (Mine said I’d marry a millionaire. I’m still waiting, by the way. Jeff, if you’re reading this, call me.) Anyway, we’re going to hijack that nostalgia and turn it into an emotional awareness tool.
How to Build It
- Take a piece of paper and fold it into the classic cootie catcher shape.
- On the outside flaps, write colors or numbers.
- On the inside flaps, instead of fortunes, write different feeling words: Happy, Frustrated, Excited, Lonely, Silly, Scared, Calm, Jealous.
- Underneath the flaps, write a question or an action. For example, under “Frustrated,” you might write, “Name a time you felt frustrated today,” or “Show me your frustrated face.”
My kid loves this thing. It turns a potentially heavy conversation into a game. They get to move the catcher, pick a number, and suddenly they’re telling me about the kid who cut in line at school. It’s sneaky parenting at its finest. 10/10 recommend.
2. The “Feeling Wheel” Morning Check-In
Mornings in my house are usually a dumpster fire of mismatched socks and arguments about whether cereal is a breakfast food (it is, don’t @ me). But I started implementing a quick check-in to cut through the chaos, and it actually helped.
Print out a Feeling Wheel—you know, the one with the basic emotions in the center and more complex ones on the outer rings. It’s a great visual for kids who can’t quite articulate the nuance between “annoyed” and “furious.” Hang it on the fridge or by the door.
Every morning, ask them to point to how they’re feeling. Sometimes my daughter points to “silly” because she wants to watch me do a stupid dance. Other times, she points to “worried” because there’s a spelling test later. It gives me a heads-up on what kind of day we’re about to have. Pro tip: Do it yourself, too. Let them see you point to “tired” or “stressed.” It normalizes the process.
3. Read Picture Books (and Actually Talk About Them)
I know, I know. Reading to your kids isn’t a groundbreaking suggestion. But there’s a difference between reading Goodnight Moon on autopilot and using books as a launchpad for emotional discussions.
When you’re reading a story and a character gets upset, pause the book. Ask a rhetorical question: “Wow, look at his face. Why do you think he feels so angry?” or “Have you ever felt that sad before?”
Some books are obvious heavy hitters for this—The Color Monster by Anna Llenas is basically the Bible of emotional awareness in our house. But you can do this with almost any story. Even if the Grinch is being a jerk, it’s a chance to talk about why he hates the Whos so much. (Spoiler: his heart was two sizes too small. Classic case of emotional shutdown.)
4. Play “Feelings Charades”
This is our go-to on rainy afternoons when the WiFi goes out and everyone is on the verge of mutiny.
- How to play: Take turns acting out an emotion without using any words. The rest of the family has to guess what it is.
- The twist: Don’t stick to the easy ones like “happy” or “sad.” Throw in some curveballs. Act out “disappointed,” “overwhelmed,” “curious,” or “grateful.”
Watching a six-year-old try to act out “jealous” is absolutely hilarious. It usually involves a lot of stomping and pointing at someone else’s toy. But the laughter breaks down the barriers, and suddenly they’re more willing to talk about a time they felt that way. It’s sneaky—they think they’re just being goofy, but their brains are actually building a vocabulary for complex feelings.
5. The “How Big Is My Feeling?” Scale
Kids often react to a stubbed toe with the same intensity as the end of the world. It’s not that they’re dramatic (okay, maybe a little), it’s that they lack the perspective to scale their reactions.
I made a simple chart on a whiteboard with numbers 1 through 5.
- 1: A tiny feeling. (e.g., “I wanted the red plate, but I got the blue one.”)
- 3: A medium feeling. (e.g., “My friend wouldn’t play with me at recess.”)
- 5: A huge, gigantic feeling. (e.g., “Our pet fish died.”)
When my son comes in hot because I cut his toast into triangles instead of squares, I ask him to point to the number. Usually, he’ll pause, realize he’s being a tiny bit irrational, and point to a “1” or “2.” Sometimes he insists it’s a “5,” and we have to talk about why. It helps him label the intensity, which is the first step to managing it. FYI, this works great for parents too. I point to “5” a lot when I step on LEGOs.
6. Start an “Emotions” Journal (with Stickers!)
I am a sucker for a good office supply store, so getting my kids a special notebook was an easy sell for me. This isn’t a “dear diary” situation that requires writing long paragraphs. For little ones, that’s a non-starter.
Give them a page for the day and have them draw a picture of their feeling. Or, even better, get a massive pack of emoticon stickers.
- “Pick a sticker that shows how you felt at school today.”
- “Draw a comic strip of what made you feel worried.”
It’s low-pressure. It doesn’t require them to sit down and have a heavy conversation with you eye-to-eye (which can be intimidating). They can just doodle. Later, you can look at it together and ask gentle questions. IMO, this is the best way to get a reluctant talker to open up.
7. The “Name It to Tame It” Game
This is a concept I stole from Dr. Dan Siegel, and I use it on myself constantly. The idea is simple: when a big feeling hits, we have to verbalize it to take away its power.
I turned it into a game. Whenever someone (including me) is clearly having a meltdown, someone else gets to yell “NAME IT TO TAME IT!” and then the upset person has to shout out the feeling.
It sounds silly, and honestly, it is. The other day I was grumpy about work, and my daughter looked at me and screamed it at the top of her lungs. I had to stop and say, “Fine! I am feeling FRUSTRATED!” We both burst out laughing. The laughter doesn’t solve the work problem, but it breaks the tension and reminds us that feelings are just visitors—they come and they go.
8. Body Scan for the Little Ones
Emotions don’t just live in our heads. They show up in our bodies. Anxiety feels like butterflies, anger feels like heat in the face, sadness feels like a heavy chest. Teaching kids to notice these physical cues helps them recognize an emotion before it explodes.
Lie down on the floor with them. Ask them to close their eyes. Walk them through it:
- “Let’s check in with our feet. Do they feel wiggly or still?”
- “Let’s move up to our tummy. Does it feel tight or loose? Is there a bubble in there?”
- “How about our hands? Do they feel like making a fist, or are they soft?”
It sounds a bit woo-woo, I know. But my son once told me, “My tummy hurts, Mom. I think it’s because I’m nervous about the math test.” That, my friends, is a parenting win.
9. Role-Play with Stuffed Animals
Never underestimate the power of a stuffed animal. Kids will tell a random, inanimate bunny things they would never tell you.
If I sense something is wrong, I might grab one of the fifty stuffed animals littering the floor and make it talk. “Hello, [Kid’s Name]. It’s me, Mr. Snuggles. I heard you had a rough day. Sometimes I get sad when I lose my squeaky toy. Do you ever feel sad?”
Suddenly, they’re pouring their heart out to a floppy-eared rabbit. It removes the pressure of talking directly to an adult. I just sit there, holding the animal, looking appropriately concerned. It’s a little theater, but it works every single time. :/
10. Music Mood Boards
We love music in our house. I created a playlist called “The Feelings Mix,” and we add songs to it all the time.
- “This song makes me feel brave!”
- “This one makes me feel sleepy and calm.”
- “Ugh, turn this one off, it makes me feel annoyed!”
We listen to it in the car, and I ask them why they picked certain songs. Music taps into emotions in a way that words sometimes can’t. Plus, it’s a great way to introduce new feeling words. “This song feels nostalgic to me,” I’ll say. Then I have to explain what “nostalgic” means while trying not to cry because it reminds me of college. Good times.
Wrapping This Up (Without the Fluff)
Look, you don’t need to do all ten of these today. Pick one. Maybe just grab a piece of paper and make that silly Cootie Catcher. The goal isn’t to raise perfect little robots who never cry. The goal is to raise humans who know that feeling angry is okay, feeling sad is normal, and that they have the tools to handle both.
It’s messy work. You will have bad days where you lose your own cool and yell about the cup situation. (Seriously, why are they so obsessed with specific cups?) But every time you pause and name a feeling with them, you’re building a bridge. Keep building.
Now, go find some paper and get folding. Your future teenager will thank you when they actually tell you what’s wrong instead of just slamming their door. 🙂
