Trying to get a kid to open up about their feelings can sometimes feel like pulling teeth. You ask, “How was school?” and you’re lucky if you get a grunt in return, right? We’ve all been there. But R U OK? Day is coming up, and it’s the perfect excuse to ditch the interrogation and actually connect with our little humans in a way that doesn’t feel like a chore for either of us.
I’ve rounded up seven of my favorite, low-pressure activities to help you check in with your kids. These aren’t about sitting them down for a serious lecture. They’re about creating moments where they feel safe enough to share what’s going on in their world. Think of it as emotional flossing—it’s good for them, even if they pretend to hate it. :/
Let’s get into it.
1. The “Feeling Face” Dinner Plate Challenge
This one is so simple, and it honestly works wonders, especially with the younger crew who might not have the vocabulary for “I’m feeling emotionally overwhelmed by the maths test.”
Get Creative with Dinnerware
Grab some paper plates and markers. Yes, the ones you were saving for the next birthday party. Ask your kids to draw different faces on the plates showing various emotions—happy, sad, worried, angry, surprised, and maybe even “meh.” You know, the one they make when you ask them to clean their room.
We do this, and then we actually eat dinner off them. It’s a great conversation starter. I might point to the “worried” plate and say, “Wow, that face looks a bit like I felt this morning when I couldn’t find my keys. Anyone feel like that today?” It takes the focus off them and puts it on the plate. It’s a non-threatening way to get them to identify and label feelings.
Why This Works
Ever wondered why this works so well? It’s because it turns an abstract concept into something tangible. Kids can project onto the drawings. My son once pointed to the angry face and said, “That’s how Leo felt when his tower fell down.” It wasn’t about him, but it opened the door to talk about what he does when he gets frustrated. It’s genius, IMO.
2. Build a “Worry Monster” Box
This activity is part arts and crafts, part emotional regulation, and all parts awesome. The goal here is to externalize those little worries that can build up and become big, scary things in a kid’s mind.
Supplies You’ll Need
You don’t need anything fancy. A shoebox works perfectly. Grab some:
- Googly eyes (the more, the merrier)
- Pipe cleaners
- Pom-poms
- Glue sticks and tape
- Markers and paint
The mission is to create a “Worry Monster.” This creature’s sole job is to eat up worries. Once the box is built and has a proper mouth slit cut into the top (parent job, for safety!), explain the rules: whenever they have a worry, they can write it down on a piece of paper or just tell it to the monster and put it inside. The monster holds onto it so they don’t have to.
The Check-In Moment
The real R U OK? moment happens when you check the box together once a week. Pull out a worry, and talk about it. “Oh, someone was worried about the spelling test? How did that actually go?” This gives you a direct line to their anxieties without them feeling put on the spot. It’s a physical reminder that they don’t have to carry their heavy stuff alone.
3. Storytime, But Make It Interactive
Reading a book is always a good idea, but for R U OK? Day, we’re leveling it up. We’re not just passively reading; we’re actively engaging.
Choose Your Books Wisely
Pick stories that deal with emotions, friendship, or overcoming challenges. There are so many amazing ones out there. A few favorites in our house are The Invisible String by Patrice Karst (perfect for separation anxiety) and The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld (a masterclass in just being there for someone).
As you read, pause and ask questions.
- “Why do you think the character feels that way?”
- “What would you do if you were them?”
- “Has anything like that ever happened to you?”
Relate It Back to Them
The beauty of stories is that they allow kids to process feelings from a safe distance. They’re talking about the character, not themselves. But their answers will often give you a huge insight into their own emotional world. It’s like emotional eavesdropping, but totally above board. This is one of the most powerful R U OK Day activities for kids because it meets them exactly where they are.
4. The “Highs and Lows” Walk
Forget the formal sit-down chat. Kids open up when they’re doing something else—especially if it involves moving their bodies. We’ve traded the dinner table check-in for what we call the “Highs and Lows Walk.”
Get Moving, Get Talking
As soon as we start walking the dog or just heading to the local park, I’ll kick it off. “I’ll go first. My high today was laughing so hard with Sarah at work that I snorted my coffee. My low was definitely the traffic this morning. Your turn.”
The rule is, there are no wrong answers. Their high could be “recess” and their low could be “maths.” And that’s totally fine. The point isn’t to get a detailed report; it’s to keep that line of communication open.
The Magic of Movement
There’s something about walking side-by-side rather than sitting face-to-face that removes the pressure. You’re not staring at them, waiting for a deep revelation. You’re just… walking. And somehow, that’s when the best stuff comes out. It turns a potentially awkward conversation into a family habit. Plus, you get some steps in. Win-win.
5. Create a “Check-In” Chart
For the kids who are a bit more visual, or if you have multiple kids and want a quick daily read on the room, a check-in chart is a game-changer. This is less of a one-off activity and more of a system you can put in place for R U OK? Day and beyond.
How to Set It Up
Find a spot in a common area—the kitchen, the hallway, near the back door. Put up a simple chart with everyone’s name on it. Next to each name, have three pockets or spaces with colored cards or magnets:
- Green: I’m feeling great!
- Yellow: I’m a bit off / feeling okay.
- Red: I’m having a rough time / need some help.
The rule is that everyone, including parents, moves their marker to the color that matches their mood when they come home or first thing in the morning.
Using the Chart for Connection
The chart itself isn’t the conversation; it’s the conversation starter. If my daughter’s marker is on red for three days in a row, I know I need to carve out some one-on-one time to check in. If my own marker is on yellow, it gives the kids a chance to ask me what’s wrong. It models emotional intelligence and shows them that everyone has off days. It’s a low-key, constant reminder to ask, “R U OK?”
6. The Gratitude Jam Jar
This one is a classic for a reason. It’s simple, positive, and creates a beautiful artifact of your family’s year. We call it the Gratitude Jam Jar because we literally use an old mason jar that used to hold pickles. (FYI, wash it out really, really well first. Pickle-scented gratitude is not the vibe we’re going for.)
The Process
Keep the jar in a central location with some slips of paper and a pen nearby. The goal is for everyone to write down one thing they’re grateful for each day and pop it in the jar. They can be big things (“I’m grateful for my new bike”) or tiny, silly things (“I’m grateful that Dad burnt the toast so Mum made it instead”).
When to Open It
You can set a specific time to read them, like on R U OK? Day itself, or save them for a rainy day when someone needs a pick-me-up. Dump them all out and take turns reading them aloud. It’s a powerful reminder of all the good stuff, big and small. It shifts the focus from what’s going wrong to what’s going right, which is a cornerstone of good mental health. It’s hard to stay in a funk when you’re surrounded by little notes reminding you of the good things.
7. The One-on-One “Yes” Day
This one takes a little more planning and maybe a bit of a budget, but the payoff is immense. The concept is simple: for a few hours on R U OK? Day (or the weekend after), that child gets to be the boss. Within reason, of course. You’re not buying them a pony.
Setting the Boundaries
Let them know the parameters upfront. “Okay, for the next three hours, I’m all yours. We can do whatever you want, as long as it’s safe and costs less than $20.” Then, you follow their lead. You might end up at the park, the library, or just building the most elaborate Lego tower known to humankind.
Why Undivided Attention Matters
The goal here isn’t the activity itself. It’s the message you’re sending: “You are important. You are worth my time. Nothing else matters right now but you.” In our hyper-busy world, undivided attention is the ultimate gift. During that time, don’t look at your phone. Don’t think about work. Just be present. The conversations that happen when you’re fully engaged and letting them lead are often the most revealing. They’ll tell you everything when they feel like they truly have the floor.
The Takeaway: It’s About Habit, Not Just a Day
Look, R U OK? Day is a fantastic, vital reminder to check in with the people we care about. But for our kids, the real magic happens when these little moments of connection become part of the everyday fabric of family life.
It’s not about getting it perfect. Some of these activities will be a hit, and some will totally bomb (my kids looked at me like I had three heads when I first suggested the Feeling Face plates). The point is to keep trying, keep showing up, and keep making it clear that you are a safe place to land, no matter what.
So, pick one. Just one. Try it this week. You might be surprised at what you learn. And honestly? You might even have a little fun along the way. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with a pickle jar and some googly eyes. Wish me luck.
