Hey there, friend! Pull up a chair. If you’re here, you’re probably a bit like me—someone who spends way too much time googling “how to get my kid to listen without losing my mind” or “activities that aren’t just handing them an iPad.” Been there. Done that. Got the empty coffee mug to prove it.
Today, I want to chat about something that sounds super clinical but is actually a total game-changer for parenting: ABA therapy. I know, I know. It sounds like something you’d need a degree in, right? But here’s the secret—Applied Behavior Analysis is just a fancy way of saying we’re using simple, science-backed activities to teach our kids new skills and encourage good behavior.
I’ve been using these strategies at home (usually while hiding from the laundry pile), and I’ve pulled together 12 ABA activities that are not only effective but actually kind of fun. Whether your little one is neurodivergent or you just want to boost their development, these ideas are gold.
Why Bother With Structured Play?
Ever wonder why your kid can remember the lyrics to every “CoComelon” song but can’t remember to put their shoes away? It’s all about motivation and environment. ABA activities are designed to tap into that. They break down big concepts into tiny, manageable steps.
IMO, the best part is that it shifts your mindset from being a “disciplinarian” to being a “detective.” You start asking, “Why is this behavior happening, and what skill is my child missing?” It’s empowering. And it saves your voice from all that repeating yourself. :/
Getting Started: The “Goodie Bag” Principle
Before we jump into the list, let’s talk about reinforcement. This isn’t about bribing your kid to behave. It’s about showing them that practicing hard things pays off.
I keep a little “Goodie Bag” in the kitchen. It’s filled with stickers, tiny toys, or even just a special privilege card (“10 minutes of tablet time!”). When we do an activity and they crush it, the Goodie Bag appears. It’s not about the stuff—it’s about the positive connection.
Alright, enough chit-chat. Let’s get to the good stuff.
1. The “First, Then” Visual Board
This is the Swiss Army knife of parenting tools. Seriously. If you take nothing else from this article, make this.
- What it is: A simple board or piece of paper divided into two columns. “First” on the left, “Then” on the right.
- How we play: I use velcro strips or just dry-erase markers. “First, we put on our shoes. Then, we go to the park.”
- Why it works: It kills the anxiety of the unknown. Kids freak out when they don’t know what’s coming next. This gives them a clear roadmap.
I’ve literally used this to get my nephew out the door when he was having a meltdown about leaving his trains. First (trains away), Then (cookie). It’s magic.
2. Token Economy (aka The Chore Jar)
Remember those old arcades where you’d get tokens for games? Same concept.
Setting Up the System
Grab a jar and some poker chips or pompoms. Every time your kid does a desired behavior—sharing a toy, brushing teeth without a fight—they get a token.
Cashing In
Once they collect a certain number (start with a low number like 3 for little ones), they trade them in for a reward. Maybe it’s 5 tokens for staying up 15 minutes later, or 10 tokens for a trip to the ice cream shop.
The key takeaway here is that it makes “good behavior” tangible. They can see their progress. It’s way more effective than just saying “good job” and hoping they’ll do it again next week.
3. Errorless Learning: Puzzle Time
This one goes against every “tough love” instinct we have, but hear me out.
- The Setup: Take a simple puzzle. Before your child even tries, you place all but the last piece in correctly.
- The Activity: You say, “Let’s finish this!” Your kid puts in the last piece and feels like a genius.
- Why I love it: It prevents frustration. We want them to experience success so they associate the activity with good feelings, not failure.
Over time, you remove fewer pieces. But starting with a guaranteed win builds so much confidence.
4. Mirror Imitation Games
This is my go-to when I’m lying on the floor, too tired to move.
Sit facing your child. Make a silly face (scrunch your nose, stick out your tongue) and see if they copy you. Then swap roles—you copy them!
- The skill: It teaches attending, motor planning, and social reciprocity.
- The humor: When you have to copy your kid’s weird “I just smelled a fart” face for five minutes straight, you can’t help but laugh. It’s bonding without the pressure.
5. The “Wh” Question Cards
“Who”, “What”, “Where”. These are the building blocks of conversation, but they’re surprisingly hard for little brains to grasp.
Making It Visual
Don’t just ask “What did you do at school?” (The answer is always “Nothing.”). Instead, grab some pictures.
- Cut out pictures from a magazine (a ball, a kitchen, a teacher).
- Show the picture of the kitchen.
- Ask, “Where do we cook food?”
- If they struggle, you model the answer: “We cook food in the kitchen. Can you say kitchen?”
This turns a vague concept into something they can see and touch.
6. Turn-Taking with a Preferred Toy
This is hard. Kids don’t like sharing their favorite things (honestly, neither do I when someone wants the last slice of pizza).
- Grab a timer: Get a sand timer or a visual timer app.
- The rule: “I get the fire truck for 1 minute, then you get it for 1 minute.”
- The twist: While they wait, we practice occupying ourselves with something else.
Pro tip: Start with a toy they like, but don’t love. Master the skill there before moving on to the “can’t-live-without” items. And yes, you have to play by the rules too. If you hog the toy, they learn the wrong lesson. :/
7. Emotion Charades
Kids often act out because they can’t tell us what’s wrong. This game gives them the vocabulary.
Write simple emotions on slips of paper: Happy, Sad, Angry, Surprised, Tired.
Take turns acting them out without words.
When my daughter acted out “frustrated” by stomping her foot and growling, it opened up a conversation about what to do when she feels that way. It’s a lot easier to talk about feelings when they aren’t actually happening to them.
8. Sorting by Category
Grab a pile of random stuff from around the house: a spoon, a toy car, a sock, a block, a book.
Two Baskets Method
Put two baskets down.
- Basket A: “Things you wear.”
- Basket B: “Things you play with.”
Help them sort the items. As they get better, make it harder: “Things that are metal” vs. “Things that are soft.”
This is a precursor to complex thinking. It teaches them how to look at the world and organize information—a skill that stops tantrums before they start because they learn to process their environment.
9. “I Want…” Communication Temptation
This one feels a little sneaky, but it works.
Put a favorite toy or snack in a clear, sealed container that they can’t open. Place it in front of them but don’t say anything. Wait.
They will likely point, grunt, or cry. Gently prompt them: “Use your words. Say ‘I want help’ or ‘Open please’.”
Once they attempt the phrase—even if it’s just “hep”—immediately open it.
- Why: It forces them to initiate communication. If we always anticipate their needs, they never have to practice asking.
10. Following Simple ID Cards
Sometimes, verbal instructions go in one ear and out the other. Visuals stick.
Take photos of common tasks:
- A picture of shoes (for “put on shoes”)
- A picture of a book (for “clean up books”)
- A picture of a toothbrush (for “brush teeth”)
Hold up the card instead of repeating yourself for the 80th time. It removes the “nagging” tone from your voice and turns it into a simple, non-negotiable directive.
11. The “When/Then” Rule
This is a linguistic twist on the “First/Then” board, but for older kids who can handle a bit more nuance.
- Wrong way: “If you eat your broccoli, you can have dessert.” (This sounds like a negotiation).
- Right way: “When you finish your broccoli, then you can have dessert.”
It implies certainty, not choice. It’s subtle, but it frames the desired behavior as the natural path to the reward, rather than a favor they’re doing for you.
12. Sensory Play with a Task
I love a good sensory bin—you know, rice, beans, water. But to make it ABA-friendly, we add a mission.
The Mission: Buried Treasure
Bury a few small plastic animals or coins in a bin of sand or pom-poms. Give your child a pair of tweezers or tongs.
- The Task: Dig out the animals and place them in a bowl.
- The Catch: They have to request each one or label it (“I found a cow!”) before dropping it in.
It keeps those busy hands occupied while working on speech and fine motor skills. Win-win.
Wrapping It Up (Without the Sarcasm, For Once)
Look, implementing these activities doesn’t mean your house is suddenly going to look like a calm Montessori classroom 24/7. There will still be days when the dog is eating the crayons and the toddler is painting the wall with yogurt. Trust me, I’ve been there.
But the beauty of these ABA activities is that they give you a script. They give you a “next step” when you’re stuck in a cycle of “no” and frustration. It’s about connection, not perfection.
So here’s my challenge to you: Pick just one. Maybe it’s the “First, Then” board, maybe it’s the token jar. Try it for three days. See if it changes the vibe just a little bit.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go find where my kid hid the remote. Probably in the sensory bin. 😉
Got a favorite activity that worked wonders for your family? Shoot me a message—I’m always looking to add more tools to the toolbox!
